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Admittedly, I've only grown into Goth about nine years ago and in some ways and I still have a lot to learn about the history about the subculture. However, because my awkward baby-bat years are not all that far behind me, I can remember what that felt like and I can certainly think of ways that would have made my transition into the Gothic lifestyle much easier.
I hear too many horror stories about people being drawn away from the Goth scene because of this insidious plague of snobbery commonly known as elitism. If you're not upset by this, you should know that quizzing someone on the discography of Siouxsie and the Banshees doesn't gain you "goth points," it just makes you a petty time-wasting hypocrite.
So next time you run into someone who may have pro cat-eye makeup skills, yet hasn't heard of Bauhaus, remember these simple tips.
- Don't call them a baby-bat. It's probably best to avoid the term altogether, as many have used it in a derogatory way. Of course, I don't think being a baby bat is a bad thing, but there are plenty of snobs out there who have used it in a condescending manner.
- Encourage them! Whether it's a small compliment on their first attempt at DIY projects or their Jack Skellington sweatshirt, it can mean a lot to a young spooky kid. Remember when you were first starting out and all you got was hate? Imagine if the Goth queen/king that you admired as a child gave you some encouragement by acknowledging your effort. Many of these kids have disapproving parents and teachers, and even school bullies. Show them that Goth is a safe and accepting community that they are welcome to call home.
- Make recommendations. Of course, you don't need me to even mention music here. You can also recommend books (perhaps think back to the dark teen novels you liked in middle and high school) and films (try to be age appropriate). You can also recommend resources on the subculture, such as books like What is Goth? by Voltaire and Gothic Charm School by Jillian Venters, as well as podcasts and YouTube videos focused on music like Gothcast and radio stations on Mixcloud like Dazed and Confused. If the newcomer is a legal adult, you can even invite them to local darkly-inclined events such as meet-ups and nightclubs.
- Allow baby-bats to be baby-bats. Accept people as they are. If the kid really likes HIM and Black Veiled Brides, or any other bands often mistaken for goth bands, take a deep breath and acknowledge that everyone has to start from somewhere. Just because someone likes these bands doesn't mean that they can't simultaneously appreciate the history of the subculture. Even the most knowledgeable Goth has every right to enjoy and indulge in whatever kind of music she/he/them/it desires. Have a little faith that a little individuality isn't going to kill the scene - I mean, isn't that what has been kept it going for so long?
- Be kind and mature. Patience is the best way to go when interacting with young angsty teens. Not only does this uplift a little wayward soul, but it sets a good example. Not to mention you're representing Goths more positively, which will reflect well on you as a person and the community as a whole. This will no doubt ease some of the concerns of most rational parents of gothy preteens, and hopefully help to dispel some of those dreadful popular misconceptions about black-clad children of the night.
